Wednesday 6 August 2014

The Best Holidays

Success Criteria


DEEP FEATURES
Brainstorms to identify main ideas to be used in writing.
Uses most of the main ideas in the writing.
Uses paragraphs and sequences ideas.
Attempts to end writing with a simple conclusions.
SURFACE FEATURES
Spells most words correctly.
Uses capital letters, full stops, commas, apostrophes, question marks, exclamation marks.
THE REWORKER / EDITOR
Rereads writing to edit out information that does not improve the message.
Rereads writing to edit in words and phrases that improve the message.
Uses a dictionary to identify and check spelling attempts.
Checks writing for basic punctuation.


We had 2 weeks off school and it was so awesome. I did so many things with my best friends.

In the very first week of the holidays I went to the extraordinary Onekawa pools! When we got there I leaped out of the car and sprinted inside. I ran to a seat and threw my swimming bag down and I walked to the big kid pool. My mum and my brother were still inching through the door. I did not believe they could go so SLOW! I walked back and grabbed Jack and we both sprinted to the super fast slides! We got to the top and leaped into the slide. It was the best time I ever had!

In the second week of the holidays I went to my super friend Jemmas place. We were planning to go to Inflatable World! When we got there we rushed into the tiny car and as quick as a flash I had my seatbelt on before anyone else. We sped to Inflatable World and leaped out of the car and ran as fast as we could to the awesome inflated obstacle course. It looked super duper hard because everybody was flying off it! It was me and Jemma's turn. We pulled our selves up a really high wall. (I flew off a couple of times) Finally I got to the top then there was a really really steep slide. I leaped down and squeezed in a short tunnel. It was HARD! I loved it so much I did it a million more times!

On the last day of the holidays I went to the movies with Jemma (my bff) and my Aunty Valery. We were going to see How To Train Your Dragon 2. We were in the car waiting for Aunty Valery and then out of nowhere she came and we leaped out of the car and sprinted inside! We were in theatre 3 and it all went super dark and the movie began! It went for TWO hours and it was really sad because the father dies. We really slowly inched out all stiff and sad. Slowly we got in the car and drove away and yacked about the movie on the way. It was the best movie I have ever seen!

I really wish I could go to the pools for longer. I wish I could go on EVERYTHING at Inflatable World and I also wish that the movie did not have the father dying in it!

1 comment:

  1. Taylor I like the way you used fullstops,capital letters,comers and exclamation marks.I like that you ended your writing with a simple conclusion.

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